Tag Archives: BDSM

Slash speak in D/s

Slash speak has become important for some online BDSM relationships. It’s a matter of protocol.

slash speak one_cleanedSlash speak is all about capitalizing pronouns and titles relating to dominants/tops and using lower case for submissives/bottoms. It’s one ritual way that power exchange and respect can be shown in written form.

The slash comes in when both a dominant and a submissive are mentioned together.  An example might be (from an email from one Domme/sub couple to another):

“W/we had a great time on the weekend.  O/our play time was wonderful. Thank Y/you for sharing your space with U/us. W/we would love to play with Y/you again.”

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This is something that is usually negotiated between a Dominant and His or Her submissive.

A submissive might use lowercase for all pronouns and even their name. Their Dom or Domme would do the same for them.

A Dominant is likely to use all upper case: I, Me, She… and capitalize their name as well, when referring to themselves. The submissive would be expected to do the same for their Dominant.

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Image4_cleanedSo, if you know me online in any capacity you will know that I don’t usually do slash speak, except on very specific occasions when I am reinforcing my dominance in a very specific way. Having said that, I don’t mind if you do.  I just think that it can easily be seen whether or not you respect someone by how you talk to them. Polite, respectful, careful speech is the mark of a good submissive, and also of a good Dominant. How a Dom or Domme wishes to be addressed should be a private matter in a D/s relationship. I certainly don’t agree that all submissives should use capitalization with any Dominant.

Firstly, I think there is an implication that Dominants are always superior to submissives. I … don’t agree. I’m superior to my submissives only in the sense that they choose to give themselves over to me. I am not better than them in any sense other than the power exchange that we have chosen, and the skills that I have that are useful to their lives are in many ways equivalent to the skills that they use to serve me – they’re just different.

Secondly, slash speak is just annoyingly difficult to write and to read.

If it helps you to refer to me with capitalizing pronouns, if it helps you hold me in higher regard, then go right ahead. You will find that regardless of how you address me, I will own you in the manner that I please, and will make your submission to me very plain when it is my need to do so.

So tell me: do you use slash speak? In what ways is it important to you in your relationship with your Dominant or your submissive?

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Bondage tips and techniques:

Bondage (the “B” in BDSM) includes a wide variety of techniques.

The most common on stage and screen is tying the wrists and ankles to the bed posts. While this may present a lovely visual, the reality is that that particular position can make it difficult for a female submissive to tilt her pelvis up for sex. It is even more difficult for anal sex on a male or female submissive if they are tied face up.

Bondage - spreadeagled_cleaned Image source.

This can be remedied a bit by placing a pad, such as a pillow, under the buttocks of the tied submissive before you tie their legs. Alternatively, legs can be pulled up and attached above the submmissive, or up towards their head and arms.

Bondage - spreadeagled with pillow_cleaned Image source.

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However, there are many other interesting and stimulating positions in which to tie someone up.

First consider bondage safety.

For the more flexible, athletically inclined, there is tying wrist to ankle. This presents the clitoris and the vagina on a woman and the cock and balls on a man quite nicely, at an angle that makes intercourse, digital play or oral stimulation all comfortable possibilities, especially with a small pillow under the bound person’s butt, if they are on their back. If you have the cords around his/her chest, make sure it is comfortable for them to breathe.

As with any tie, think about the huge variety of positions in which the same tie can be used. Again, think safety, as the submissive cannot use their limbs to support themselves, so be careful to protect your neck and back if you change the position of your submissive while they are bound. It might be safer to undo a tie or two before repositioning.

Bondage - wrist to ankles 1_cleaned bondage - wrist to ankles 2_cleaned bondage - wrist to ankles 3_cleaned   Bondage - wrists to ankles_cleanedbondage wrists to ankles_cleaned

 

 

 

 

 

For the not so flexible, there is tying wrist to thigh. This still presents the genitals in an enticing way and is comfortable for the bound.This can also be turned into a frog-tie, in which the ankles and thighs are tied together as well. Hands-to-thighs is one of my favorite ties – keeping a submissive controlled, but not … too controlled. 😛

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There is also just tying the hands,  which you can tie in front and then over the head, or behind. If you are tying someone with his/her hands behind them and having them lie on his/her back, make sure and check in on circulation. There is also tying at the elbows, which especially effective if you are have the bound on his/her chest.

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For the more adventurous, there are several other more advanced tying techniques, such as the ball tie, the hog tie, the G-string tie, the overarm tie, and the most famous, Japanese shibari, which is both practical and decorative. Many BDSM clubs have educational talks and demonstrations about different bondage techniques, and there are plenty of books.

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“A song for my Mistress”

No other note with this one other than the title. From my dear little “bug”, who likes to be squished beneath my heel.

As it happens, I swoon for Jamie N Commons’ lovely rough voice. Mmmmhmmm. And the sentiments of this song are delicious. Thank you, littlebug. I shall certainly tell you all of my lies. The passion of this song captures your devotion perfectly. I treasure it. 🙂

Just don’t leave your money at home….

LYRICS:

One look, twice sold, three for the way she looks at me
Held up, let down, she sings me silent melodies
Hair whipped, tight lipped, I’ve been calling out for you
cold sweat, once met, can’t stand the way she looks at me

Don’t you tell me no truths, I want all of your lies
Don’t you tell me no truths, just all of your lies
Don’t you tell me no truths, I want all of your lies
Oh yeah, so give me all of your lies
Give me all of your lies
Give me all of your lies
Give me all of your lies

Do the rumble and sway
Do the rumble and sway
Do the rumble and sway

One look, twice bold, three, four, I’m on my knees for her
Held up, let down, she sings me perfect harmonies
She fakes heart breaks, I’d take just a part of you
Those eyes, sweet lies, I’ve been drowning out for you

Don’t you tell me no truths, i want all of your lies
Don’t leave your money at home, just a word to the wise
Don’t you tell me no truths, I want all of your lies
I’m wailing so give me all of your lies
Give me all of your lies
Give me all of your lies
Give me all of your lies

So don’t you tell me no truths, I want all of your lies
Don’t you tell me no truths, I want all of your lies
Don’t you tell me no truths, I want all of your lies

Give me all of your lies
Give me all of your lies
Give me all of your lies

Don’t you tell me no truth, I want all of your lies
Don’t leave your money at home, just a word to the wise
Don’t you tell me no truth, I want all of your lies

Give me all of your lies
Give me all of your lies
Give me all of your lies

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Am I a masochist?

Dear Miss Annalise, I really like it when my boyfriend pinches my nipples, bites me or spanks me during sex. I come so hard when he does that, in a way I don’t when we just have “normal” sex. One of my friends called me a masochist because I like it, and she made is sound like a bad thing.  Am I a masochist?

Uncertain

 

Hi Uncertain,,

Thanks for the great question! The criteria  I would use to evaluate whether or not you are a masochist would be based in whether or not you needed pain to become sexually aroused or do you just enjoy pain while you are aroused?

Pain releases endorphins into your system. That will intensify orgasms, which is why you are having better orgasms when pain is added.

I don’t tend to believe anything is good or bad in sexual expression. It’s more a question of weighing the consequences of your behavior. Does the stress release, better orgasms and potential intimacy building with your partner outweigh the negatives of bruises/scratches/welts, emotional distress and potential social stigma? Only you can decide.

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Game: Dress-Ups

This game will suit financial domination addicts as well as the transvestite/cross-dresser/girly boys or lovers of fetish gear in general.

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It plays like this:

1.Make a list of every item in an outfit and email it to me. For example, Mike has a barbie outfit with fetish accessories. The first things on his list are: Hair Bow, Pink Collar and Leash, and Barbie Panties.

2.Send me the list. Then call me.

3.I’m going to get you dressed. I will say an item and you have as much time until I say the next item to get that thing on and be ready for me. I may count down the time you have left to put the item on, or I might just wait until I am ready to say the next thing and just say it. 🙂

4.If I say an item that requires another item to be put on first you must state that other item as well and also get it on in time. For example, if I say “sparkly Barbie slippers” then you must say “stockings too” and get both your stockings and your shoes on before I move on to the next item.

5.If you fail to get an item on in time, the game can go several ways (feel free to make a suggestion!):

cross dressing

◦I will invent a creative punishment.

◦I will almost certainly make you start again.

◦If you like a little financial domination, I might hang up on you, raise my rate, and once you have all your gear off we can start again.

Sound like fun? Call me!

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Masochism ( add photos, edit)

Dear Miss Annalise, I really like it when my boyfriend pinches my nipples, bites me or spanks me during sex. I come so hard when he does that, in a way I don’t when we just have “normal” sex. One of my friends called me a masochist because I like it, and she made is sound like a bad thing.  Am I a masochist?

Uncertain.


Hi Uncertain,

Thanks for the great question!

The criteria  I would use to evaluate whether or not you are a masochist would be based on whether or not you *need* pain to become sexually aroused or do you just enjoy pain while you are aroused?

Pain releases endorphins into your system. That will intensify orgasms and pleasure in general, which is why you are having better orgasms when pain is added.

I don’t tend to believe anything is good or bad in sexual expression. It’s more a question of weighing the consequences of your behavior. Does the stress release, better orgasms and potential intimacy building with your partner outweigh the negatives of bruises/scratches/welts, emotional distress, and potential social stigma? Only you can decide.

Fun with a subbie

Teasing a little cumswallowing subbie this morning. I know it sounds counterproductive – if $$$ were the bottom line I’d have had him on the phone instantly – but I do love the way that he prostrates himself before me when I tease, but don’t let him cum for me. He’s so full of lovely ideas of ways I could torture him further. Definitely worth my time doing this every once in a while.

There he goes – off to work dripping. Seems like he won’t have time to cum for Me until five days from now. Oh well. 😀

he: im pretty desperate right now lol. when that sets in you can just about make me do anything lol
Miss Annalise: yep
he: its bad. im pathetic
Miss Annalise: uh huh. (grin )
he: vulnerable and horny.  what do you want me to do mistress – what ever you want please let me cum lol
Miss Annalise: Nope.
he: lol i wasnt asking just saying lol. just explaining Im at take level right now because its been days like 7 since i cam and you could do anything now
Miss Annalise: and I am.

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