Tag Archives: fetish

List of Fetishes

There are many different fetish lists online. Honestly, the list of fetishes is infinite – people can get turned on by practically anything.

I’m going to be updating this entry over time. I recently got my hands on a copy of “Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices”, which has the world’s most comprehensive current list of documented fetishes. I am gradually adding in the items from there, as well as definitions from a multitude of other online lists. Enjoy!

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[* Niteflirt forbids discussions of certain topics. Items marked with * might not be able to be discussed through that site.]

A
Abasiophilia – Love of (or sexual attraction to) people who use leg braces or other orthopedic appliances
Ablutophilia – Baths or showers
Acarophilia – Scratching
Achluophilia – Arousal from darkness.
Acomoclitic – Hairless genitals (see gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, pubephilia, trichophilia)
Acousticophilia – Arousal from certain sounds (particularly someone screaming in agony).
Acrophilia – High places
Acousticophilia – Aroused by sounds
Acrotomophilia – Amputee partner
Actirasty – Exposure to the sun’s rays
Adolescentilism* – Arousal from cross-dressing, or playing the role of an adolescent.
Afophilia – Sexual stimulation via touch
Agalmatophilia/Pygmalionism – Statues/manikins or immobility
Agonophilia – Pseudo-rape, pretend struggle or wrestling play as a form of foreplay
Agoraphilia – Sex in public places
Agrexophilia – Excitement from knowing that others are aware of a persons sexual activities
Aichmophilia – arousal from needles or other pointed objects
Ailurophilia* – Deriving sexual satisfaction from cats (Also Aelurophilia).
Akophilia – sexual stimulation through hearing.
Albutophilia – Arousal from water
Algolagnia/Algalagnia/Algophilia – Love of pain – either of inflicting physical or emotional pain on another, or desiring to receive it oneself.
Allopellia – Having an orgasm from watching others have sex.
Allorgasmia – Fantasizing about someone other than one’s partner
Allotriorasty – Partners of other nations or races
Alphmegamia – Older men or attraction to partners of another age group.
Altocalciphilia – High heels (see retifism)
Alvinolagnia – Stomachs (see partialism)
Amatripsis – Masturbation by rubbing labia together.
Amaurophilia – Partner who is unable to see them during sex, blind/blindfolded sex partner
Amaxophilia -Attraction to riding in cars or vehicles
Amelotasis – Attraction to someone who has lost a limb.

Anaclitism – Activities or items one was exposed to as an infant
Anasteemaphilia – Taller or shorter partners
Androidism – Robots with human features
Anophelorastia – Defiling or ravaging a partner
Antholagnia – Floral scent
Aphephilia – Being touched
Apotemnophilia – self-amputee
Arachnephilia – Spiders
Asphyxiophilia – Self-strangulation
Asthenolagnia – Weakness/being humiliated
Audiophilia – Recorded sound
Autagonistophilia – Exposing naked body or genitals to strangers while on stage, while being photographed
Autoassassinophilia – Staging one’s own murder
Autonephioplia – Diapers

B

Belonephilia – Pins/needles/sharp objects
Biastophilia – Violently raping their victims

C

Choreophilia – Dancing to orgasmic release
Chrematistophilia – Having to pay for sex or having a sex partner steal from them, being robbed
Chrysophilia – Gold or gold colored objects (see timophilia)
Claustrophilia – Being confined in a small space
Coprolalia – Using obscene language or writing
Coulrophilia – Clowns
Crurophilia – Legs
Crush fetishism – Seeing small creatures being crushed or being crushed

D

Dacryphilia – Seeing their partner cry
Dendrophilia – Trees or fertility worship of them
Doraphilia – Skin, animal fur, or leather (see hyphephilia)
Dracophilia – Dragons and serpents
Dysmorphophilia – Deformed or physically impaired partners (see teratophilia)

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E

Ecouteurism – Listening to others having sex without permission
Electrophilia – Electricity
Endytophilia – Partners who are clothed
Erotographomania – Writing love poems or letters
Erotophonophilia – Lust murder
Exhibitionism – Showing genitals in public

F

Fetishism – An inanimate object
Fisting – pretty easy to figure out
Formicophilia – Sex play with ants
Frotteurism – Rubbing one’s genitals against or fondling the body parts of a non-consenting person

G

Gerontophilia – Partner whose age is that of different generation
Gynelophilous – Sight/touch of pubic hair (see acomoclitic, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, pubephilia, trichophilia)
Gymnophilia – Nudity
Gynemimetophilia – Male impersonating a female

H

Haematomania/Hematolagnia – Blood
Hamartophilia – Committing acts you consider to be sinful
Haptephilia – Becoming extremely aroused by being touched
Harmatophilia – Sexual incompetence/mistakes
Harpaxophilia – Being robbed or burglarized (see chrematistophilia)
Hierophilia – Sacred objects
Hirsutophilia – Armpit hair (see acomoclitic, gynelophilous, hyphephilia, pubephilia, trichophilia)
Hodophilia – Traveling
Homilophilia – Hearing or giving sermons
Hybristophilia – People who have committed crimes, people who are cruel/outrageous
Hygrophilia – Body fluids or moisture
Hyphephilia – Touching skin, hair, leather, fur, or fabric/specific fabric (see acomoclitic, doraphilia,gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, pubephilia, trichophilia)
Hypoxyphilia – Sexual arousal from the limiting or withholding of oxygen

K

Kainotophilia – Change
Kakorrhaphiphilia – Failure
Keraunophilia – Thunder and/or lightning
Kinesophilia – Exercise
Kleptophilia – Stealing
Klismaphilia – Being given an enema
Knismolagnia – Being tickled
Knissophilia – Incense
Kopophilia – Exhaustion

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M

Macrogenitalism – Large genitals
Macrophilia – Giants
Masochism – Being dominated/humiliated
Mastigophilia – Punishment
Megalophilia – Large objects
Merinthophilia – Being bound
Metophilia – Another person’s face
Metrophilia – Poetry
Mysophilia – Filth/foul odors/decaying material

N

Narratophilia – Discussing sex with others
Nasophilia – Noses/nose (see partialism)
Neophilia – Anything new
Normophilia – Acts considered normal by their religion/society
Nyctophilia – Darkness or night

O

Ochlophilia – Being in a crowd
Oculophilia – Eyes (see partialism)
Oculolinctus – Licking their partner’s eyeball
Odaxelagnia – Biting/being bitten
Odontophilia – Tooth extractions/tooth fetish
Ophidicism – Reptiles
Ozolagnia – Powerful scents

P

Parthenophilia – Sex with virgins
Partialism – Specific parts of the body(see alvinolagnia, nasophilia, oculophilia, podophilia)
Pecattiphilia – Sinning/guilt
Pediophilia – Dolls
Phallophilia – Large penis/large penis fetish
Phobophilia – Fear/hate
Phygephilia – Being a fugitive
Pictophilia – Inability to become aroused without pictorial pornography
Plushophilia – Stuffed toys
Podophilia – Feet (see partialism)
Polyiterophilia – Sex with a series of partners
Psychrocism – Cold/ice
Pubephilia – Pubic hair (see acomoclitic, gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, trichophilia)
Pygmalionis – Rubbing one’s body against a statue/statue/manikins
Pygophilia – Contact with the buttocks
Pyrolagnia – Watching fire
Pyrophilia – Fire or its uses in sex play

R

Retifism – Shoes (see altocalciphilia)
Rhabdophilia – Being flagellated
Robotism – Robots in sex play

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S

Sadism – Dominating/mistreating/humiliating one’s partner
Salirophilia – Ingesting human sweat or saliva (fluids with a salt content)
Scatophilia – Obscene phone calls
Scopophilia – Being watched, watching – same as voyeurism. Has active and passive forms.
Siderodromophilia – Trains
Sitophilia – Using food
Somnophilia – Fondling a stranger in their sleep
Spectrophilia – An image in an mirrors/sex with spirits
Stigmatophilia – Marking one’s own body/inserting foreign objects into it
Symphorophilia – Arranging a crash/disaster/explosion

T

Tantalolagnia – Teasing
Taphephilia – Being buried alive
Teratophilia – Deformed or monstrous people (see dysmorphophilia)
Thesauromania – Collecting women’s clothing
Thlipsosis – Pinching
Timophilia – Gold or wealth (see chrysophilia)
Transformation fetish – Depictions of transformations of people into objects/other beings
Trichophilia – Hair (see acomoclitic, gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, pubephilia,)
Triolism – Three-party sex
Troilism – Couples
Tripsolagnophilia – Massage

U

Urtication – Stinging nettles stimulating the skin

V

Vaccinophilia – Being vaccinated
Vicarphilia – Hearing stories about other people’s lives
Vincilagnia – Being tied up
Vorarephilia – Fantasies about being swallowed alive
Voyeurism – Watching others have sex

X

Xenophilia – Strangers

Z

Zelophilia – Jealousy
Zwischenstufe – Person of the same sex

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SOURCES:

  • http://blanketfort.uninhibited.net/fics/kink/kink.html

 

Foot/Shoe Fetish: Coming Out to a Partner

If you want to confess to a loved one that you have a foot fetish, you want to ease into the revelation.

You don’t need to get technical … at least not at first. Describing your love of feet as a “fetish” or a “paraphilia” can make it seem more strange than it needs to be. Discussing it with your partner/partners sometime between your first date and a serious commitment is best. This way, if your partner reacts negatively, you can decide whether you really want to be in a relationship that doesn’t allow you to express your fetish.

Try making it about her feet, rather than about feet in general. Saying something like “Wow you have gorgeous feet!” and asking if she would like to have a foot massage is most appropriate at first. If that goes fine, move on to touching your partner’s feet during foreplay – seeing how he/she reacts is a good gauge to see what they like and don’t like. If touching seems to evoke a positive reaction, try massaging, both inside and outside sexual contexts.

Stay away from things like licking and sucking at first – these sensations can be intense. Once you do try them with a partner, even if your fetish is for dirty or stinky feet, it can be a good idea to do it first in a context of clean feet – in a bathtub or hot tub, after a shower or after bathing her feet. Many people feel that their feet are a little disgusting from being in shoes or on the ground, and while that might appeal to you, it might be a turn-off for them. If you love dirty or stinky feet, take a while to ease into enjoying them in their natural filthy state.

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Of course – if you have a very dominant or kinky partner, you may be able to take things a lot faster than described above.

If your partner asks questions about your love of feet or shoes, be gentle in your explanation, but be truthful. Make sure your partner knows that you love and desire her, and not just her feet or shoes.  React appropriately to your partner’s feelings. It is most likely that your partner will want more information or need some time to process what you have told them. If your partner is hesitant or negative, then it might be an idea to stay away from her feet the next time you are intimate and ask permission the next time you touch her feet. Let her feel in control of the experience.

However, if your partner is overwhelmingly negative about your fetish, it might be time for you to decide whether this is the relationship for you. However, if you’ve just come out about your fetish to a long term partner who you want to stay with, you might want to ask her if you can explore the boundaries of what is acceptable to her. A partner who is grossed out by the thought of touching her feet to your genitals might be just fine with regular foot massages before sex as part of foreplay. It might also be appropriate for you to see a sex therapist as a couple so that you can have some help in finding middle ground on something that is a very important part of your sexual makeup.

A similar approach can be taken if you have a shoe fetish.

Feel free to give me a call to discuss your fetish and how you are thinking of introducing it to a new or current partner. Sometimes talking it out can be very useful.

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Foot/Shoe Fetishism

Foot fetishes and shoe fetishes are surprisingly commonplace, and not only amongst those who identify as kinky.

It seems that many men, and women too, find something highly erotic about feet and footwear. It doesn’t seem to matter whether you are dominant or submissive, male or female. Some are into the footwear itself, and others find the eroticism in the fact that the footwear encases the foot of a lady – there seems to be a connection between the foot and the psychological connection that, if she wanted to, the lady could walk all over him, barefoot or suitably shod.

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To some people, feet are about the biggest turn-on imaginable. A 2007 study published in the International Journal of Impotence Research found that feet (and their little piggies) were the most highly fetishized body part, with nearly half of the thousands of survey respondents choosing them over all others. Some men like to see pictures of feet, some men like to touch/rub feet, some men like to lick/kiss feet and some men like “footjobs”.

Why? No one is entirely sure.  Some suggest it may simply be that feet lead to legs, and legs lead to genitals. There are some that say the turn on has to do with the assumed dirtiness of feet. They are what we walk around on all day, the very bottom of our body. It’s a taboo and taboo equals turn on.

The most recent research seems to indicate that the area of the brain that is designed to recognize the form and sensation of genitals is right next to the part of the brain that is designed to recognize the form and sensation of feet. Dr Ramachandran of the University of California noted that “phantom limb syndrome” in amputees was sometimes associated with perceiving sexual pleasure in the missing limb.

Shoe fetishes are one of the most commonly encountered in the inanimate-object realm. This fetish is experienced by mostly men, mostly about high heels and sometimes about his partner wearing them during sex. There may be women out there with this fixation, but the majority of shoe fetishists (and fetishists in general, in fact), are men.

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Mapping out Human Sexual Behavior

As a phone sex therapist I get to hear an even bigger range of human sexual behavior and activity than I did when I was just doing regular sex counseling. I think it’s fascinating.

This is a chart of the broader areas of human sexual behavior categories showing the ways different things interconnect and overlap.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love this next method of organizing human sexuality – it literally creates a map of it! You can see this map at www.humansexmap.com – and even better it’s interactive, you can pin all the stuff that you have done, or maybe have a look at the areas that already interest you on either of these diagrams and see all the new permutations of your favorite fetishes or activites that you might enjoy!!

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Finding a Sex-Positive Sex Therapist!

Why would I need a “real life” therapist? Aren’t you good enough?

There are many reasons I refer clients to sex therapists off of NF, and many remain my clients while having a real life sex therapist.

I’m most likely to refer a client who wants to work with a sex therapist with their partner on an issue, or simply on working on improving their relationship. Far more people go to sex therapists to improve things that are already good, as opposed to fixing problems. A lot of clients come to me to work on their problems or identify what exactly they are wanting to improve or achieve from their sex life, then go to work with an outside sex therapist with their partner.

The other category of client I am likely to refer is the client who has serious sexual compulsion issues that center around them calling NF. I can be a good transition for such a client – they can move from making sex calls on NF to making therapy or phone sex calls with me, and then gradually wean away from phone sex (if that’s what they want) using an outside therapist.

I also refer clients out who are having specific sexual issues such as erectile dysfunction which may be related to physical issues that need to be explored by a medical professional such as a urologist or a primary health care physician. Today I am talking about finding a therapist, but a lot of this will apply to finding a sex-positive professional of any kind.

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Sex positive? What does that mean?

A person who is sex positive will be comfortable with their own sexuality and the sexuality of others, even if that person’s sexuality and sexual expression is different to their own.  This is especially important for sex therapists.

A regular therapist has probably received little or no training in sexuality. They may not have had to face their own prejudices about sex or to face how hard it can be to talk about sex comfortably. Even marriage counselors may have had no training in talking about sex. A good therapist will be comfortable talking about sex.

A good sex therapist has received special training that helps them to be comfortable with all sorts of different sexual expression – from bdsm to fetishes, from vanilla to kinky, gay or straight or anything in between. The best sex therapist for you is one who is accepting of your particular sexual expression, and who either knows a little (or a lot) about it and is willing to learn about what it means to you in your sex life.

Okay, so now that I know what I am looking for, how do I find the right therapist?

A good place to start is the American Society for Sex Educators, Researchers and Therapists: http://aasect.org/. They have a list of therapists, and you may be able to find one in your area. If you don’t find one immediately, check out what other sex positive organizations or health professionals they list closest to you. Call that person and ask them if they can recommend a sex positive therapist in your area.

Also look up people who already work with sex and sexuality in your area. Gynaecology or Urology clinics, a professor in gender studies or sexuality at a local university, local std clinics etc. Again, you don’t need to tell them your issue if you don’t want, just that you are looking for a therapist who is okay with talking about all sorts of different sexual matters.

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I’ve found a therapist. Now what?

You need to find out if the therapist is sex positive in the direction you need from therapy. Therapists are people too. We hold the same sets of prejudices as other people before our training and still hold some of them after.

Marty Klein, a prominent sex therapist and author, has some suggestions for questions you might want to ask your therapist before starting work with them:

  • What are your sexual values?
  • How do you define healthy sexuality?
  • Are you comfortable talking about kinky sex?
  • Do you think monogamous, heterosexual, genitally oriented sex is ultimately better than other consensual arrangements?

I think it’s also okay to ask a therapist outright if they are comfortable talking about your particular form of sexual expression. Recently a client of mine asked a therapist all of the above questions and thought she sounded a little uncomfortable. He then asked if she would be okay talking to a client about cuckolding. A few more questions revealed that the therapist was comfortable talking about dealing with a relationship in which his partner was cheating on him, but not entirely comfortable with talking about a consensual cuckolding relationship. However, she was still sex positive enough to refer the client on to someone who was able to work with him.

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Call me if you are having trouble finding a therapist in your area. I’m very good at finding them, I enjoy meeting new therapists for a little chat on the phone. I won’t be telling them anything about you without your permission (that’s your job) but I can interview them to see how they feel about working with sexual stuff similar to yours.