Dear Miss Annalise, I really like it when my boyfriend pinches my nipples, bites me or spanks me during sex. I come so hard when he does that, in a way I don’t when we just have “normal” sex. One of my friends called me a masochist because I like it, and she made is sound like a bad thing. Am I a masochist?
Thanks for the great question! The criteria I would use to evaluate whether or not you are a masochist would be based in whether or not you needed pain to become sexually aroused or do you just enjoy pain while you are aroused?
Pain releases endorphins into your system. That will intensify orgasms, which is why you are having better orgasms when pain is added.
I don’t tend to believe anything is good or bad in sexual expression. It’s more a question of weighing the consequences of your behavior. Does the stress release, better orgasms and potential intimacy building with your partner outweigh the negatives of bruises/scratches/welts, emotional distress and potential social stigma? Only you can decide.