Last week CUCK asked the following question:
Dear Miss Annalise,
I have a fantasy for years. My wife puts me in the closet and I watch her with a black guy. Then she gets me out and makes me do stuff and makes fun of my tiny cock. Is this really wrong and should I tell her I want to do it and why do I want it?
– Can’t Understand Craving Kink
Dear CUCK –
Should you tell your wife? If so, how should you go about it?
I help quite a few guys out with this.
My very first advice on this is to have patience and move things slowly. If you have never told your wife anything at all about how you fantasize about sitting in the chair beside your bed and watching that enormous cock pressing against her pussy lips, slowly stretching her out, making her back arch in ecstasy with rock hard nipples and mouth parted in an Ohhhhhhhhhh! – then telling her right out is probably not the best idea… especially if she doesn’t like the idea.
So step one is to work out how receptive your wife is to kink in general, and this kink in particular. With callers I’ll often go over their history of kink – how vanilla or straight has their relationship been so far? Have you ever talked to your wife about this fantasy, even a little? Has she ever cheated on you or had an affair – and if so what happened and does she know you know about it?
If I get some details from you about your specific circumstances I can give you my best guess as to whether she might be up for a cuckolding relationship.
Step two is determining exactly what you want. Cuckolding takes many forms. You may like all sorts of cuckolding relationships, or your desires might be very specific. If you call me we can work through some role plays and fantasies, dig deeper into your mind and find what you really want from this – and more importantly what you don’t want. For example, you may desperately want a cuckolding relationship, but only if you get to either watch or hear the details later. Or you may want your wife to cheat on you, but want the delicious despair of never knowing when or how, or what or with whom – to just have her drop hints and have you buy her new lingerie when she takes a new lover. Some things to consider:
•Do you want to watch (secretly or openly)?
•Do you want to hear details, or general things, or nothing?
•Do you want her to have a lover, a fuck buddy, or a casual encounter? Do you want to know how she feels about him?
•Do you love the humiliation or embarrassment of it – and if so, do you want her (or me) to rub it in that she’s getting some great cock that you can’t provide for her?
•Do you want to be dominant or submissive in your cuckolding experience? Most guys who call me are submissively inclined, but some guys like a dominant experience, choosing the lover their woman will take and controlling more of the scene. Her submission to him becomes part of her submission to you.
•Are you into him at all – do you want a (forced or voluntary) bi experience? Do you want to fuck him together, or to enjoy him separately? How far do you want to go? (and of course all of this is a completely different level of assessing your wife’s comfort with this aspect of your sexuality).
Above all, do you want this to be a fantasy, or a shared fantasy, or a reality? This is really important. Because you fantasize so strongly about this right now, you might be so focused on it becoming a reality that you don’t think about how it could become a very rich part of your fantasy life. Fantasies risk so much less than trying to play this out in reality. When you play out a cuckold fantasy in real life, a lot of the control goes out of your hands. It is your wife cuckolding you, and what if she wants something a little or even vastly different from what you want in your fantasy right now? Not playing it out in reality doesn’t mean that your cuckolding fantasy cannot be shared. There are many ways that you can play with it in fantasy. Imagine you and your wife coming home from an evening out and discussing a gentleman who was watching her, or even sitting at opposite ends of the bar so you can watch men approach her so that you can fantasize later about what she might have done with them if she had taken them back to your hotel room. Or you can just fantasize about it before or during mutual masturbation with your wife.
The next step depends a lot on your answers in this first part, so please do call me to fine tune things. I can give you examples of how others have dealt with this, and give you more of a woman’s insight into how your proposal might go across.
If you can’t call right now, some suggestions I can give are:
•Ask her about her own fantasies first. Say you were reading something that was talking about fantasies and that a lot of couples don’t talk about their fantasies that they have during sex, and that you were wondering who or what else she thinks about during sex. Accept whatever answer she gives you, but also be ready for her to ask you in return.
•It always pays to play coy with sharing your fantasies. If your wife does ask you about your fantasies, you can always act embarrassed (you might actually be embarrassed) and say you’ll think about it. Then you have a better chance that she will chase you to find out your fantasy than the other way around.
•Focus on recent fantasies rather than as something you’ve had ongoing for years. I’m not saying to lie, but to perhaps think of some instance such as a particularly horny dream you had about your wife being fucked by that big black cock, and tell her you woke up so horny from that dream and now you’ve been thinking about that for days. Later on you can tell her of other experiences, dreams or fantasies you’ve had. The “dream” scenario is good because it means if she reacts very badly to it you can take it back as “only a dream” and say that you’ve also been disturbed by that thought (which you have, just pleasantly disturbed!)
Lastly, what do you do if your wife does react badly to the idea? Well, again that depends on her reaction, how “bad” it is, and whether there’s any chance that you can amend or reintroduce your suggestion at some point in the future. That’s one reason I strongly suggest approaching the topic very delicately and slowly. I have clients who ring me every week for a progress report on how they are doing and suggestions for their next step, and some of them have success after many months of slow patient devoted work on getting their wives to cuckold them.
Good luck with it, and give me a call if you want some help in working out a plan to have all your dreams come true! 🙂