FAQ

Wait. You say you are a “sexologist”… what’s that? Are you really a sex therapist?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines sexology as: “the study of sex or of the interaction of the sexes especially among human being.”

I became fascinated with the study of sex from my early college years. I studied it in my Bachelor’s degree, and then took two additional years of training to be a counselor. I have done a lot of private study since then, and have also trained as a surrogate partner, though I do not do that work currently.

Am I calling you in Australia?

No, I was born and grew up in Australia.  I’ve lived in the US for the past few years. I travel a lot in the US and used to be on the east coast for most of my time. It seems easier to keep my times on one zone rather than changing them all the time. I mostly reside in the desert southwest now.

In fact, if you listen carefully to my accent you’ll get to have a good laugh at all the times I switch between Australian and American pronunciations of things. This is because I have worked for several years as a counselor in the US in sexual health clinics, where the word “Can’t” in an Australian accent sounds suspiciously like another word I definitely should not be saying in counseling. 😛

 

How can you work as a therapist and a Mistress? Isn’t one about making people better, and one about making them worse?

I spent a couple of years as a BDSM Mistress, and have worked privately as well as in some of the big name dungeons in Australia. Up until I started working on NiteFlirt, I would have agreed with you that the two seem to access very different parts of me, and relate in very different ways to other people.

However, I have found that bouncing a submissive back and forth between therapy and domination can actually be very useful in helping him reach his therapeutic goals in some cases. Also, it’s just plain fun. I love it when a subbie wails “I don’t know if you are trying to help me or destroy me!” Perfect!

Why won’t you talk about certain things?

I don’t believe that there is any sex act that’s wrong between two partners who are able to give full consent. Even if there was, in a therapy context it’s surely better that someone be able to at least talk about them in a therapeutic sense. However, I’m a good girl when it comes to these things – I don’t care if other flirts break the rules, that won’t convince me to also do it.

NiteFlirt’s Terms of Service for Flirts dictate that there are certain things I cannot talk about. Specifically section J, which says:

“j. You will follow all applicable federal, state and local laws, regulations and ordinances relating to obscene and indecent content and communications. In particular, obscenity and child pornography are prohibited on NiteFlirt because they violate the laws of the United States and many other countries. While obscenity is not always easy to define and depends on the standards in your area, NiteFlirt specifically prohibits any listings or Mail that contain content related to bestiality, rape sex, incest, sex with graphic violence or degradation, excretory functions, bodily fluids, fisting and any other content which may be judged as obscene. With respect to child pornography, NiteFlirt will remove any listings and prohibits any Mail containing or referring to child pornography, such as listings containing the word “Lolita” or referring to nude photographs of “girls,” “teens” or “children.” In no event may images of children, whether nude, clothed or partially clothed, be posted in Mail or in any area of the Site, including Speaker listings. In the event that NiteFlirt discovers child pornography in any listing, Mail or otherwise, NiteFlirt will promptly notify the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and or the appropriate law enforcement agency.”

They are pretty strict about enforcing this. I even was asked to remove this picture of a cat holding a mouse from my listing because it might imply bestiality (as opposed to reflecting how I feel at my most dominant)! Harrumph!

Can I see you as a therapist in real life?

Sorry, I am not qualified to see clients here in the US yet. I’m actually having so much fun on NiteFlirt, and I believe doing so much good from a therapy perspective, that I may not end up completing my expensive and lengthy qualifications here, I might just stay Australian qualified and enjoy myself doing exactly what I am doing now.

Also, since it’s probably difficult to tell  over the phone who I should trust in real life, I made the choice at the beginning of working as a Phone Sex Therapist that I would not meet any of my clients in real life. Apart from anything else, it’s a violation of the Terms of Service I agreed to on NiteFlirt.